New job

September 22, 2009 Charlotte
Tags: daniel, guilt, Jack, job, office, relationships, sex, temping, work

Hello! It’s been a funny old couple of days, hence the erratic updates and hence why I’m writing this at nearly midnight!

Yesterday morning I was getting ready for work when the phone rang. It was the temping agency. They said they didn’t need me any more as they’d just hired a new fulltimer. Fair enough! Rather sudden though. Perhaps they could have warned me in advance that I was likely to get ditched!

So that was that. This led to a day spent in my dressing gown, as the work clothes came off immediately after the phone call! No way I’m staying in those scratchy trousers if I don’t have to!

I didn’t really know what to do with myself, to be honest. I’d gotten used to getting up early and going out to work. Sure, the job was boring as hell but the routine helped, I think!

I flipped on the TV after a while and decided to subject myself to some daytime TV. I immediately felt like a student again. It was actually kind of nice! Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby were discussing testicular “issues”. I couldn’t do that job. It’s a serious issue, sure, but to be on TV in front of millions of people talking about balls at that time in the morning? It certainly takes balls.

Philip clearly fancies Holly too. Dirty old perv!

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Suze eventually came in and joined me on the sofa. During an advert break, she turned to me and said “You’re coming out tonight!”

“Am I?” I said, knowing full well it was futile to argue. She had “that voice”, the voice which meant she wasn’t going to take “no” for an answer.

“Yes,” she said. “And we’re going to have a good time. What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“They don’t need me any more,” I said, shrugging. “The agency said they were going to find me another place, but they haven’t yet.”

Right on cue, the phone rang. It was uncanny! Sure enough, it was them. Did I want to do some data entry and administrative work for a firm of plumbers? While, of course, it wasn’t my dream job, I decided not to share this and accepted. First day was today. (It wasn’t too bad. Just as deathly dull as the other place, but at least I understand what a plumber is, which is more than can be said for whatever they did at the other place.)

Anyway, I’m avoiding the issue. We went out. Suze decided that tonight would be Dungeon Night, so we got our blackest things out and Suze draped herself in all manner of metal chains. She put in a couple of piercings I hadn’t seen her wear for a while, too. She looked “rock”. I looked like I was going to a funeral.

Damn, that reminds me. It was Daniel’s Mum’s funeral yesterday, wasn’t it? I should see how he is.

Anyway. We got there. It was loud. Suze plied me with alcohol in a familiar manner until I looked around and saw the reason.

Jack was there. Crafty bitch had engineered the whole thing again! Well, she obviously thinks we should get together even if I’m constantly struggling and confused!

I made some polite (and slurred!) conversation with Jack. At least, as best we could over the music. Eventually he managed to convince me to go and dance. Suze winked as he led me away. I gave her a withering look.

Long story short, we ended up in bed together. It felt like the right thing to do at the time. But I’m almost 100% sure it wasn’t. I felt that same feeling of guilt from before. Was it Daniel? Are we dating? I don’t really know, to be honest. He seems hesitant to, umm, “move forward” but I know it’s because he’s worried about looking stupid. I’ve tried to set his mind at rest but…

No. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was nice (REALLY nice, in fact…) but I shouldn’t have done it.

Have spent most of today fretting about it. Should I be honest with Daniel, and with Jack, or should I pretend it never happened? So many conflicting ideas!

It’s been so long since 1. boy trouble and 2. self-inflicted boy trouble resulting from drinking that I’ve forgotten how to deal with it!

Oh well… What’s happened has happened, there’s nothing I can do about that now. I just have to deal with the consequences!

Maybe I should talk to Daniel and work out what he wants. I haven’t heard anything from him for a couple of days, actually. I hope he’s all right. Maybe I shouldn’t bother him with this while he’s grieving.

Right, he’s grieving the loss of his mother. Great timing, Charlie!

Entry Filed under: Personal

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